Things I See Everyday and Love Just the Same

The first time I ever plugged this into a wall socket, sparks flew out and that outlet is now defunct. After that I had it plugged into a power strip, until one day when I unplugged it and saw that the outlet below was all brown and melty. I don't know why I say 'until'- I continued to keep it plugged in and just lived in fear. Then I got a new heater, and this was one is out on the curb. So I guess I won't be seeing it everyday.



One early afternoon I was cooking up some stir fry in the kitchen when I heard a ruckus in the living room. I went out to see what was going on, only to find my roommates trying to figure out where to put this. They found it on the sidewalk. Which means that someone used to own this. When I came home that night it was all aglow with candles from the thrift store.



I'm not quite sure what Ghostmodernism is, but I like to imagine that whoever wrote "BARD" in wet cement either has a lot of school spirit or a lot of love for Guillaume ShakEsPeeeeer.

These things are in my office at work.

We had two fish before this one. I never met the first one, but the second one was named Bruiser. They both died. This one is only named Sea Kitty, and we recently gave her a mermaid friend.



I bet it's full of Waiting Rooms and Sweet and Low. HIYO!

Meanwhile, in order to maintain my status as a daring eater here are some things I am planning to eat 

Sad Sweetheart of the Rodeo

Today I had the day off from work and in the afternoon I danced alone in my room and it was the best I've felt in weeks. Over and out.

Mish Mash

OH MY GOD I BET BOTH READERS WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT ME.

The Reader's Digest version of where I've been for the past two months is Face-Down in a Gutter, bottle of JB rolling slowly from my hand.

Today I woke up to a really horrifying noise. I went to investigate in the kitchen. Upon entering, I saw my roommate in her bathrobe, head wrapped in a towel-turban, grinding coffee beans in a blender. She turned to me, laughed maniacally and shouted, "WE DON'T EVEN NEED A GRINDER!!!"

The eight-year-old son of this guy I work with kept calling the gallery tonight. I thought it would be funny if, just once, when I said, "B., your son is on the phone," he bellowed in response, "I have no son!" This is also a man who believes my sole purpose in life is to provide him with half and half. I knew Bennington was skirting some issue when they simply wrote "Bachelor of Arts" on my diploma, and now I know it's so glorified used car salesmen can operate under the assumption that I majored in half and half fetching. I think it would be funny if, one day, I barged into his office unannounced demanding that he refill the coffee canister and go to Walgreen's for more half and half.

The last blog post I began writing was a list of public places in the Bay Area where I've thrown up. I don't think I'll be finishing that one.